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How to find your way back to your spouse: Tips on what to do when conflicts become too much
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Couples should learn to relate with one another, in order to conquer challenges they cannot fully anticipate, according to David B. Hawkins from crosswalk.com. Some people assess that the individual person gets along more with others than their spouse. Hawkins explains, it shouldn't be thought that way.
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Highlights
Catholic Online (https://www.catholic.org)
3/20/2015 (9 years ago)
Published in Marriage & Family
Keywords: Marriage, Connection, Prayers, Engagement, Emotions, Fights, Disconnection, Reconnection, Getting back together, Tips, Advices, Communication, Crosswalk
MUNTINLUPA, PHILIPPINES (Catholic Online) - Those people do not see us on our worst, stated Hawkins. Marriage difficulties are often unanticipated and lead to its deterioration before couples even know of it. The conflicts that take more attention from spouses are mostly destructive to the relationship because of the way the couple communicates, he noted.
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Fighting is the communicative style when couples are argumentative and aggressive, whereas fighting is just refusing engagement with the spouse.
Freezing avoids solving the problem and creates ineffective communication between each other. This could lead to not only physical separation but also disengagement in their emotional connections.
Hawkins, recognizing that not all couples are using the flowing style, which engages each other on sharing feelings the healthy way, suggested some things they could do.
First couples need to recognize that there will always be a way back to your spouse, and trust that this is true. He said that couples should be willing to allow God to soften what they feel. Don't deny the wounds, because it will just push great memories together away. Participate together in a healing process; praying, reading the Bible and asking God to bless your hearts will help.
As patience is a virtue, you must always secure the relationship against forming new wounds from the already formed conflict and show kindness every time.
Lastly, "persevere protecting your mate." A generous spirit takes a person a long way, especially towards their partners, though slowly.
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